6 Keys to Raising Boys

You find out you are having a boy. If you are like me, you thought, "I don't know anything about boys or what they do." This realization should serve as our first clue that boys are indeed different from girls in many ways, not just in their interests but also in their emotional and social needs.

Being a boy mom, I learned about dirt, light sabers and trucks while realizing how the parenting books didn't teach me about how boys feel. The books taught about cleaning their "man parts" but not about how many hugs they need. So, I started to create my own pillars of boy mom life to guide me and them through this world.

These pillars are foundational principles that guide my parenting style, and while they can be effective for any child, I believe they are particularly crucial for boys, who may often be misunderstood or not fully supported in todays world.

The pillars I adhere to are listen, laugh, don't tease, don't shame, enjoy, and ASK!

At first glance, these principles may seem simple, but their true implementation take effort, especially as they get older. Around the age of 8, kids seem to go from being little to just kids. As parents, we start to take less time and tenderness in how we nurture them. My guess is this is part of the separation process.

With girls, it can be that mom and daughter go to the mall together; with boys, it can be that mom cheers you on at sports. One activity is with the child, the other is observing the child. To stay connected with my boys, I made an effort to do actives with them. I wanted to be part of the memory, not at the memory.

Note: I didn't say find activities that we could do together. I said activities to do with them. Making this about what they like, rather than forcing me on them. Of course, there can be a compromise, but the hours of watching Henry Danger were about their likes, not mine.

My oldest graduates from high school in one week! These pillars empowered us both to build a relationship that will last once he leaves for college. They have created a safe place for him to tell me ALL the things. That trust is a privilege that I credit to these pillars. I will continue to use them as he goes out of state for his next great adventure.

Listen, Laugh, Don't Tease, Don't Shame, Enjoy Him & ASK!!! You made the ride a blast. (No, I will not be making wood signs with these words!)

Follow along for more about my guiding pillars in parenting, guidance, and facts for empowering our boys to be their best selves.

Stephanie Simpson is a mom of three, with two teenage boys and a much younger daughter. Stephanie's background as a nationally recognized healthcare advocate and thought leader developed her commitment to evidence-based science and facts on raising her children. Stephanie sees the need for parenting resources that are based in common sense, facts on boys, and community-oriented, especially for boys. Her parenting years have included guiding a child through nearly a decade and counting of pediatric mental healthcare, while cheering on the other one as the high school quarterback. These complex experiences provide depth to her experience.