When My Middle School Son Drifted from His Old Friends — And How I Kept Him Talking

Middle School Son & Changing Friendships

Middle school can be rough. Nobody warns you how weird it is until you’re watching your own kid go through it. It is the homely stage that no one wants to go back to. It can be cruel, awkward, and parents are not prepared for the shift.

My son used to be glued to his best friend — every weekend was spent on video games, playing Nerf battles, and enjoying laughter over farts. It was their little world.

Then seventh grade rolled around. The hangouts slowed down. He didn’t talk about his buddy much anymore. If I asked, he’d just shrug:

“Yeah, we’re still cool, we just don’t hang out as much.”

I’ll be honest — my mind went all over the place.

• Was something wrong?

• Did they have a fight?

• Was he lonely and not saying it?

  
  

It was tempting to fix it, or even reach out to the other parent. But I caught myself. I remembered that middle school friendships often shift — studies show most kids’ close friend circles change completely by high school. It’s awkward, normal, and rarely neat.

It can be so painful to watch your son be alone!

So instead of forcing conversations he wasn’t ready for, I let him lead. I kept things light and open. Found ways to hang out with him to fill the gap. TRUSTED his change, RESPECTED that he knew what was right for him.

I wanted him to know that I noticed and cared, but I also trusted him to change his friends. While he was going through this change, I reminded myself to be a bit more gentle, as ending friendships can be incredibly painful.

✅ What helped me keep the door open:

• Normalizing how middle school friendships change — it doesn’t mean someone did something wrong.

• Offering small moments of connection (watching a show, quick drives for ice cream) so he felt close even without big heart-to-hearts.

• Letting him know I was proud of how he was handling this messy, in-between season.

💬 What I actually said

“Haven’t heard much about Alex lately — just different interests

now? Totally normal if that’s it.”

“If you ever wanna have someone else over, or do something different, let me know. I’ll grab pizza or whatever you guys want.”

“I think it’s pretty cool how you’re figuring out who your people are. That’s not easy at your age.”

📝 Why it matters

When boys feel like they can change, drift, or start fresh without us freaking out, they’re more likely to keep talking.